domenica 22 luglio 2007

Racconto capitolodue


Comincio così a scavare coscientemente nel giardino dei miei ricordi...
Pioveva quel giorno,era freddo,all’uscita dell’asilo tutti i bimbi correvano verso le loro mamme, abbracciavano le loro sicurezze con la fiducia inimitabile propria dei cuccioli di qualsiasi razza, io in un angolo sotto un alberetto dello strano giardino di quell’edificio di epoca fascista ,della quale conservava ancora intatta la sinistra durezza e austerità ,cercavo le mie di sicurezze ,aspettavo con lo sguardo di bambi che si affacciassero oltre la fontana, in mezzo al clamore d’infante finalmente libero e allora qualcosa successe,quella mattina venne mio padre a prendermi,ricordo benissimo il suo procedere verso di me goffo e impacciato,tipico di chi cerca di entrare in un ruolo che ancora non conosce,ma il suo sguardo era serio addolorato,io superata la sorpresa di non trovare la mamma,mi accocolai frà le sue braccia,le braccia di un gigante e nel tragitto verso casa venni a sapere che per un lungo periodo quella non era la sola giornata insolita della mia vita,infatti mia madre era in ospedale,o meglio in un “sanatorio”,così venivano chiamati a Roma quei luoghi dove chi aveva malattie respiratorie poteva andare a soggiornare,una specie di succursale del “Forlanini”,dove stava cercando di curare una forma di tubercolosi,regalo della guerra e dei suoi fratelli,che scappando dai campi di prigionia,alla fine del conflitto riportarono questo souvenir in casa,sputantolo in terra insieme a imprecazioni atee di ogni tipo.
Inizia così un periodo difficile che coinvolse tutti,mio padre mia sorella mio fratello e tutti quei parenti che non fecero certo a gara per aiutarci,almeno da quanto è rimasto a me come cronaca confusa di quei tempi.Mio padre,per quanto non fosse oberato di lavoro(faceva il centralinista alla questura centrale),decise di farci ospitare per un periodo dai parenti,così ci ritrovammo in cinque ragazzini a coabitare in una casa vecchissima che era stata costruita intorno alle esigenze delle famiglie che ci abitavano,mia zia e mia nonna con suo marito,un uomo alto due metri,che l'alcool e l'età avevano rincretinito,cosicchè ogni tanto bisognava andarlo a cercare per il quartiere,dove andava girando nudo come un neonato di sessant'anni,invecchiato di colpo,come per un malefico sortilegio, suscitando l'ilarità generale e la nostra vergogna.
Di quel tempo la sintesi che onestamente mi sento di dare è di approsimazione totale,dei sentimenti,del cibo,dei giochi e delle sporadiche visite di mia madre,che ricordo più per le cioccolate che portava che altro,e altro è tutto quello di cui i bambini hanno bisogno per strutturare un codice identificativo per il bene e per il male.
Per l'estate che si stava avvicinando ebbero un'idea che a loro parve a dir poco grandiosa,il ministero offriva un soggiorno gratuito alle famiglie meno abbienti,cosi io e mio fratello partimmo per lidi lontani al sud,dove facevamo il bagno al mare in cinquanta ragazzini in una struttura simile ad un ring da pugile piantato in mezzo al mare,dove praticamente in piedi con la possibilità di movimento solamente verticale,vidi qualcosa di simile vent'anni dopo circa ,in India lungo il Gange in occasione del kumba mela ,festa hindi in cui il sopraffollamento ricorda da vicino Dante,anche a chi non lo ha mai studiato.Comunque io e mio fratello tornammo da quella esprienza così forgiati che quando finivamo di mangiare ci alzavamo di scatto a riporre le gavette nel lavatoio,fù credo in quel periodo che maturò in me il germe dell'intolleranza totale verso tutto ciò che è costituito,che è regola che è inquadramento,tant'è vero che tutt'oggi faccio un enorme fatica a mantenere un rapporto almeno di cortesia verso le istituzioni e i loro legacci,anche se alla fine io sguazzo nello stagno della vita come se non meglio di chiunque altro membro di questa civiltà illuminata.

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